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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Blonde Jokes</b></font>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" How do you change a blonde's mind? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Blow in her ear. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Wave to her. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A blonde going through a flashing red light. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" What did the blonde say to the physicist? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" 'Why, I just love nuclear fission but what do you use for bait?'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She told me she didn't know how to cook them. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Change. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" How do you confuse a Blonde? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" You don't. They're born that way. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" What do you call a blonde with half a brain? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Gifted!. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" Why did the blonde snort NutraSweet? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She thought it was diet coke. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" How do you drown a blonde? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She couldn't figure out who the other mother was. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" How did the blonde burn her nose? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Bobbing for french fries. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" How does the Blonde car pool work? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They all meet at work at 7:45. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They couldn't find their eraser. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" What does a blonde think an innuendo is? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" An Italian suppository. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She peed on her corn flakes. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" What do you give the blonde that has everything? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Penicillin. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 875) {document.write(" What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Divorcee'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for hours? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because it said 'concentrate'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Locking the car door. ");}
else                     {document.write(" What do you call a smart blond? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A golden retriever. ");}
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